Chuck Norris Facts!?

When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesnt get charged. He holds relevant the ring up also money falls out.

Chuck Norris once feed a whole cake before his friends could authorize him there was a stripper in it.

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes on feed lizard legs. Hence, snakes.

There are no races, exclusive countries of tribe Chuck Norris has pounded to different shades connected with black also blue.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin on McDonald's considering it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so stringent it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris can't grain a "color by numbers" because his notch are filled among the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.

A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the liked method connected with neglect in 16 states.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water inspire Chuck Norris.

Scientists have estimated that the energy parcel out off during the Big Bang is around equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Chuck Norris’ sometimes elected has not at all doors, only walls such he walks through.

How much thicket would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.

Chuck Norris doesn't actually typewrite books, the words assemble themselves out connected with fear.

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas enjoy an even greater breadth than the super-size. When ordering, just claim to be Chucksized.

Chuck Norris CAN gather it's not butter.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia because 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris bottle divide by zero.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth 1 billion words.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it narrate that for each action, there is an equal and antipodal reaction, there is no force just in reaction on a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.

When an episode connected with Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered on Chuck Norris just to be on the snug side.

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily having the right stuff of welding titanium.

Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it be remodeled apparent that their account of the ceasefire of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris prohibit a ninja, he exercising none part.


Contrary to ruling belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.

Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The exclusive thing that can clip Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the becomingly one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the extra one.

Chuck Norris always experience the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

When feed the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You temperament score gone 8000.

Chuck Norris chimerical black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum connected with visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise chimerical pink.

When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal on 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.

Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite consider exclusive a Joker, a Get exhausted of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 connected with spades and a developing #4 program from the game UNO.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects precise successful juvenile to be catch into the sun.

Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris enjoy 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and sputter the water with his own rage.

Archeologists unearthed an old english lexicon dating abet on the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac on Burger King, also inspire one.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, equally that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will spawn love results. It just doesn't happen.

Chuck Norris bottle drink an entire gallon connected with milk customary thirty-seven seconds.

Little celebrated medical fact: Chuck Norris chimerical the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.

Chuck Norris doesn't whirl strikes, he just knocks slumping precise immobilize and the other nine faint.

The show Survivor enjoy the original premise connected with putting people over an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, also nobody is brave satisfactory on go to the island to retrieve the footage.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes on watch 60 Minutes.

You experience how they say on the occasion that you relinquish life in your impression then you will relinquish life in real life? In actuality, if you impression of death then Chuck Norris will find you also kill you.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for bipedal life... lest it inspire in his way.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, down to Chuck Norris Roundhouse withstand one of the collar off.

There are no weapons of assemblage subversion in Iraq, Chuck Norris nizzertit in Oklahoma.

Chuck Norris doesn't gather in Germany.

When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks via them.

Chuck Norris once ate an unimpaired urn connected with sleeping pills. They made him blink.

James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would enjoy swing his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Chuck Norris bottle touch MC Hammer.

Thousands of youth gone Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled hyperborean into the arctic. It was and so horrify that all of its decendents now enjoy white hair.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded piece and won.

It takes 14 puppeteers on make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to represent him repair an orphanage.